Tuesday, February 28, 2012

What About the Birth Father?

The following article by Karla Marie Williams from "Family by Design" brings up a thought-provoking question.....What about the birthfather?  I'd love to keep the conversation going.

Adoption is chosen for a child for a variety of reasons that are perplexing to many people. The adoption plan is usually carried out by the birth mom and a caring representative at any number of agencies around the world.

As an adoptive mother, I have witnessed the beauty and complexity of adoption in my own life. I cannot imagine my life without my children and look forward to adopting again. My thirst for understanding and compassion for the birth mom has always been a hightened  6th sense.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BIRTH FATHER? Society's view of the birth father is one of absence, carelessness or invisibility. This is the way that birth fathers are portrayed by some adoption professionals, birth mothers, her family, the media and many that don't understand adoption at all. This portrayal has gone so far as to make it's way into legislation and dictate the rights of the father to the point where they are almost non-existent. Some states give the birth father a better chance and opportunity than others. When you Google adoption the first thing that comes up are agencies focusing on those wanting to adopt and birth mothers who want to seek info on making an adoption plan. It takes a long time to find up-to-date information for a birth father to get support and insight on his rights, his emotions and role in adoption. Many birth fathers feel they are encouraged to completely drop out as if they are just in the way of the situation. THIS IS HIS CHILD AS WELL, RIGHT? What about his voice? What about support?.....

To read the full article, click here:

1 comment:

Jim S said...

Today's Opinion Journal column in the Wall Street Journal included this quote from a Brookings Institution brief: "By making the birth of the child the physical choice of the mother, the sexual revolution has made marriage and child support a social choice of the father."

It often looks to me as if current feminist thinking about abortion gives the would-have-been father no say in the matter at all, yet when a baby is not aborted, leaves him with all the child support bills for 20+ years, again with no voice in the matter.

That sounds like a lose:lose proposition for young men.

So I like the idea of offering fathers a chance to step up and take responsibility prior to a child being released for adoption.