Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Blind Side movie



Please join AV4HC families as we come together this Saturday (1/2/2010) to see the recent movie called "The Blind Side". If you are interested in joining us, please call me so I can save you a seat. We will also gather afterwards to discuss the movie.

AMC 30 - So. Barrington (@ I90 & S. Barrington Road)
175 Studio Drive, So. Barrington IL 60010
888-262-4386

Date: Saturday, Jan. 2, 2010
Showtime: 10:50 a.m. (2 hr running time)

$6.00

Dina Ackermann 708-363-2599

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Transracial Adoption


The following post is written by Justin Taylor, blogger for Between Two Worlds and The Gospel Coalition.




We don’t regard our transracial adoption as something especially noble or sacrificial, or anything like a social statement. This is simply the way that God in his providence has designed our family to expand, and we sense his great grace in the way he has knit our family together.

But some people still wonder if transracial adoption is all that wise. What if they are called names in school? What if their friends tell our children that my wife and I are not his “real” mommy and daddy? What if our kids have an identity crisis, unable to figure out who they really are?

All of these things may indeed happen with our children. But the truth is, all of our children are going to face various forms of challenges, and we simply cannot predict with any degree of certainty what particular obstacles they will deal with. Nor can we prevent all of them.

Will our kids be eloquent and persuasive, or stammer with stage fright? Will they be the star athletes, or the class klutzes? Will they be leaders or followers? Trend setters or always one step behind? Will they be healthy or sickly? Will they be mocked for following Christ and swimming against the culture stream? We simply don’t know, and there usually does not seem to be much purpose in planning our lives around the minimization of challenges we cannot control.

It’s important to recognize that in the midst of talking about spiritual adoption, Paul listed a requirement of kingdom citizens who are to be heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ—we will receive an inheritance “provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom. 8:17). To be a Christian is a call to suffer: “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). If we’re surprised at suffering then it’s because we haven’t read our Bibles closely enough: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Pet. 4:12). If a disciple wants to be like his teacher, and a servant like his master, then we are going to be maligned like Jesus was (see Matt. 10:25).

Now with all of this said, no one wants to create situations of undue suffering for their children. There are times when transracial adoption may be unwise. For example, we have American friends who are in the adoption process and who will be serving in cross-cultural missions in the Middle East. Being an African American child in a white family in an Islamic country that already stigmatizes adoption would be exceedingly difficult.

As long as sin remains—this side of the return of Christ and the ushering in of the news heavens and the new earth—racism will remain. There is virtue neither in overstating or unstating this reality. But the idea of having qualms about transracial adoption (or interracial marriage) because it will create opportunities for more racial prejudice doesn’t ultimately make a lot of sense. As John Piper has commented, “It’s like the army being defeated because there aren’t enough troops, and the troops won’t sign up because the army’s being defeated.”

Monday, December 28, 2009

Chicago Tribune Article on Chinese Adoptees Tracing Their Roots


Adoptive families' quests to trace Chinese roots often meet dead ends. More families are traveling to China to unravel the mystery of where their adoptive children came from and who their parents are. For the few who are able to make any headway, luck is a big factor.

Jeannie Butler, with daughters Haley, right, and Helina, both adopted from China, packs donations for Chinese orphanages. (Christopher Berkey / For The Times / November 20, 2009)


By Martha Groves and Barbara Demick

December 28, 2009

Reporting from Los Angeles and Beijing - My name is Haley. I was adopted in 1995. I now live in America. I enjoy singing and playing the violin and hanging out with my friends. I have a good life, but I would like to find my biological family.

Just minutes after Jeannie Butler and her adopted daughter, Haley, tacked a Chinese-language poster with this message to a wall in the Yangtze River village where she had been abandoned, a woman emerged from a restaurant next door and did a double-take.

The woman stared hard at Haley, 14, then at the baby photo on the poster.

"Oh, my gosh, she looks just like my cousin's daughters!" she blurted out as an interpreter with the Butlers translated.

A flurry of cellphone calls ensued. By that evening, Haley had met her biological father and the eldest of three biological sisters. The reunion in July went so well that Haley and her parents are spending the Christmas season this year with her extended biological family in China. They hope to meet the birth mother Tuesday.

Such encounters are rare for the thousands of American families who have adopted Chinese children. But increasingly these families are making the return journey to China, not merely as tourists climbing the Great Wall and steeping their daughters (and they are almost all girls) in Chinese culture, but as detectives trying to unravel the most elusive mystery of all: Who is my child?

Who are her biological parents, and where are they from? Is she Han Chinese or a member of one of the many ethnic minorities? Does she have a biological sibling? And, most important, how did she come to be abandoned and referred for adoption?

The number of Chinese adoptees looking for their birth parents is expected to rise as the girls, most of them still very young, reach adolescence and then adulthood. But in China, the families often confront an entrenched culture of secrecy that clashes with Americans' presumed right to know.

"We were at the right place, at the right time. All the stars were in alignment for Haley to meet her birth family," said Butler, 49, a costume designer from Nashville who raises funds to help Chinese orphanages.

Many who try to investigate are frustrated by their inability to speak Chinese and unfamiliarity with the culture, incomplete or erroneous orphanage records and bureaucratic obstacles. In 2007, a delegation of American adoptive parents visiting an orphanage in Hunan province were allowed in only under the condition that they promise in writing not to ask questions.

Unlike the trend toward open adoptions in the United States, in which adoptive and biological families are known to each other, adoptions in China are closed. And unlike many other countries that send babies abroad for adoption, China deems it illegal to abandon a child. The result is that in China unwanted babies -- in most cases given up because of a one-child policy limiting family size -- are usually abandoned anonymously.

In some cases, babies fell into the hands of child traffickers who transported them hundreds of miles away from their place of birth; family planning officials involved in those incidents tried to cover their tracks with false documents that made it appear the babies had been abandoned.

"The link with the birth parents for almost all the children adopted by U.S. families is forever lost," said Changfu Chang, an associate professor at Millersville University in Millersville, Pa., who has made a number of documentaries about China adoptions, including one featuring Chinese parents speaking tearfully about the babies they relinquished.

Low success rate

Chang says he knows of perhaps 20 adoptive families who have located birth relatives of their children, a minuscule number considering the more than 60,000 Chinese babies adopted by Americans since the early 1990s.

"The orphanage usually doesn't know anything other than where the baby was found and when," said Wang Xiaoli, a volunteer interpreter at an orphanage in Chongqing who often acts as a liaison between adoptive parents and orphanage officials. "And sometimes they are reluctant to tell the adoptive parents too much."

But determined American parents don't generally take "no" for an answer.

Many are talking about setting up a DNA database so that their children at some stage might be able to find matches with the Chinese families who relinquished them. Others are putting up posters, taking out advertisements or enlisting Chinese researchers to investigate.

"My husband says we ought to buy a billboard in our daughter's birthplace asking for information. I wonder how the Chinese authorities would feel about that?" Bernadette McNamara-Moran, a television writer from Los Angeles who is investigating her daughter's origins, said with a laugh.

She said her daughter, now 7, is bursting with questions about why she doesn't look like her pale, freckled parents and what happened to her biological family.

"I owe it to my daughter to make every effort to get her questions answered. I don't want to be always saying to her, 'I don't know,' " said McNamara-Moran, who has e-mailed hotel concierges and police stations in Anhui province for information about the place where her daughter was abandoned. She is also planning a trip to China.

Investigations require money and patience. Susan Morgan, a teacher from Philadelphia with two adopted daughters, ages 11 and 12, has made 13 trips to China and has yet to locate either girl's birth parents.

"I did find our older daughter's foster mother," Morgan said. "Barring a miracle, that is as close to a Chinese mother that my daughter will find."

In response to the clamor for information, a handful of agencies have begun doing the gumshoe work of searching for birth families.

Dogged pursuit

The best-known is Research-China.org, started in 2000 by Brian Stuy, an adoptive father in Salt Lake City. He and his Chinese-born wife, Longlan, have assembled an archive of about 20,000 advertisements (most with baby photographs) placed in local newspapers by orphanages, which are required by law to seek birth parents before referring a child for adoption.

They also try to persuade orphanages to divulge information that might not have been supplied to the adoptive parents, such as the location where a baby was found or the identity of the person who found her.

"Often the person who is listed as finding the child has a suspicion about who is the birth family, or even a connection," Stuy said.

He recalls a case in which he noticed that a woman who reportedly found a baby had the same name as the foster mother. When Stuy questioned her, she admitted the baby was her granddaughter. Her daughter-in-law had not wanted to keep the girl because of the limits on family size, but the family, concerned about the child, had arranged for her to stay with the grandmother until she could be adopted abroad.

Connie Munro, a lawyer from Vancouver who adopted a girl in 2000, had a similar experience when she decided to photograph the place where her adoptive daughter was supposedly abandoned.

"I hired a car and driver and we drove out to this village where she'd been found at the gate of this farmer's house," Munro recalled. When she questioned the farmer and his neighbors, it turned out that one of them was her daughter's grandfather. She also discovered that much of what she'd been told -- including her baby's age -- was incorrect.

One of the biggest obstacles in investigating babies' origins is child trafficking. In 2006, the director of an orphanage in Hunan province was convicted of buying babies for foreign adoption from brokers who had transported them from southernmost Guangdong province because of the higher prices paid in the north. Court documents suggest that some of the babies might have been kidnapped.

The Los Angeles Times reported in September that dozens of adopted baby girls had been forcibly taken from their birth parents by local government officials in Hunan and Guizhou provinces who wanted a cut of the cash donations (averaging $3,000 per baby) that adoptive parents pay.

Moya Smith of Boulder, Colo., who adopted a daughter in 2002 from one of the suspect orphanages, said she and other parents have been frustrated in their effort to find out whether their children were among those stolen.

She was among a group of six families who visited the orphanage in Shaoyang in Hunan province in 2007. "We all had to sign this form saying that we weren't going to ask questions," she said. "Actually, we were surprised we were allowed in there at all."

In cases where no corruption was involved, adoptive families have received warm welcomes from the orphanages and, in many instances, access to their children's files.

"They were wonderful. I was absolutely amazed at how willing they were to help us," Jeannie Butler said of the orphanage officials and police who helped her locate Haley's family last summer.

Butler and Haley had been to the town, Maanshan in Anhui province, about five years earlier and had put up a poster at the outskirts of town but had gotten no response. Last summer, they enlisted the help of police, who brought them to the spot where Haley had been left under a tree. Across from the tree, they put up the poster, which had been translated into Chinese.

Soon after the woman recognized Haley, the Butlers' interpreter got a call from police, who said a man identifying himself as Haley's father wanted to meet them. He was a businessman who owns a meat company, and he told the Butlers that he had been away when his wife gave birth to their fourth daughter.

When he returned, he said, he asked his wife: "Where's our baby?"

"It was another girl, and I threw her away," his wife replied, according to Butler's account.

During their brief reunion, Haley met her eldest biological sister, a graduate student at a Shanghai university who speaks English.

Although the physical resemblance between the girls was obvious, Haley and members of the Chinese family later took DNA tests that confirmed the relationship with 99.99999999% probability.

"The lab told me they had never seen so many 9s," Butler said.

Butler said the family has been pondering what sort of relationship Haley will maintain with her entire biological family after the December reunion.

"It's really up to Haley," Butler said. "I will do all I can to help her with whatever she chooses to do."

If anybody could give Haley advice, it is Susan Soon-keum Cox, a Korean adoptee who is a vice president of Holt International Children's Services, an agency in Eugene, Ore.

Cox, who located two half brothers when she was 40, offers the caveat:

"When you find your birth family, that isn't the end, that's the beginning."

martha.groves@latimes.com

barbara.demick@latimes.com
Copyright © 2009, The Los Angeles Times

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Safe Families Article: Daily Herald 12/27/2009


There is a wonderful article about Safe Families on the front page of the Daily Herald this morning. You can read the article by clicking on the link below.


Thank you to all the Safe Families that answer God's call to care for these little ones.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Voice 4 His Children Christmas Party

Enjoy these pictures from our first annual Christmas Party!





























Saturday, December 19, 2009

Foreign adoptions by Americans hit 13-year low



AP – FILE - In a Tuesday, May 27, 2008 photo, an unidentified woman holds a child for adoption as she waits.


By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer David Crary, Ap National Writer – Thu Dec 17, 5:47 pm ET

NEW YORK – The number of foreign children adopted by Americans plunged more than a quarter in the past year, reaching the lowest level since 1996 and leading adoption advocates to urge Congress to help reverse the trend.

Big declines were recorded for all three countries that provided the most adopted children in the previous fiscal year. In China and Russia, government officials have been trying to promote domestic adoptions, while in Guatemala, a once-bustling but highly corrupt international adoption industry was shut down while reforms are implemented.

Figures for fiscal year 2009, released by the State Department on Thursday, showed 12,753 adoptions from abroad, down from 17,438 in 2008 — a dip of 27 percent and nearly 45 percent lower than the all-time peak of 22,884 in 2004.

The last time there were fewer foreign adoptions to the U.S. was in 1996, when there were 11,340.

China was the No. 1 source country in 2009 — but U.S. adoptions from there dropped to 3,001, compared with 3,909 in 2008. China has been steadily cutting back the numbers of healthy, well-adjusted orphans being made available for adoptions; a majority of Chinese children now available to U.S. adoptive families have special physical or emotional needs.

Guatemala was the No. 1 source country in 2008, with 4,123 adoptions by Americans. But the number sank to 756 for 2009, virtually all of them in the final few months before the Central American country's adoption industry was shut down while authorities drafted reforms. It's not known when adoptions to the U.S. will resume.

The biggest increase came from Ethiopia — 2,277 adoptions in fiscal 2009, compared with 1,725 in 2008.

Russia was No. 4 in the new listing with 1,586 adoptions, a 15 percent drop.

Adoptions from Vietnam — where the industry, like Guatemala's, has been plagued by corruption allegations — dropped from 751 to 481. The bilateral U.S.-Vietnam adoption agreement expired in September and has not been renewed.

Chuck Johnson, chief operating officer of the National Council for Adoption, said the new figures dismayed him and other advocates of international adoption.

"This drop is not a result of fewer orphans or less interest from American families in adopting children from other countries," he said. "All of us are very discouraged because we see the suffering taking place. We don't know how to fix it without the U.S. government coming alongside."

According to Johnson, the State Department considers its current adoption mandate to be assisting U.S. citizens with foreign adoption procedures and monitoring the integrity of foreign countries' adoption industries.

Johnson said he would like the mandate expanded to give the department explicit authority to encourage more international adoptions, and he suggested a first step could be made if Congress passed a proposed bill called the Families for Orphans Act.

Johnson also said all parties who have tolerated corrupt adoption practices bore some of the blame for the dwindling numbers.

"People in the practice of adoption worldwide have made ethical blunders that have cast a shadow over intercountry adoptions," he said. "It's highlighted how difficult it is for some of these countries to adequately supervise the adoption process, and led some countries to decide it's just not worth the effort."

Thomas DiFilipo, president of the Joint Council on International Children's Services, predicted the numbers for fiscal 2010 would be even lower — down to about 9,800 — if adoptions from Vietnam remained suspended by the U.S. government and China continued to cut back.

DiFilipo said he'd like to see the State Department become a more active promoter of international adoption.

"One of their primary functions is to help potential adoptive parents, when their focus should be on children in need of adoptive families," DiFilipo said. "The Families for Orphans Act would fill that void."

Adoptions of Chinese children by Americans peaked in fiscal 2005 at 7,906 and have fallen steadily since then. Some U.S. families have been waiting roughly four years for their adoption applications to be completed.

At Great Wall China Adoption, based in Austin, Texas, spokeswoman Kelly Ayoub said the agency placed nearly 1,000 children from China in 2005 and would probably place only one-fifth of that number this year.

"Of course families are frustrated by the wait," she said in an e-mail. "Families that are being matched right now have waited 45 months — an investment of time that no one expected."

Like some other agencies, Great Wall China is branching out geographically — advising families to consider Ethiopia, Rwanda, Mexico and the Philippines, among other places.

Among the Americans engaged in a long wait for an adoption from China is Steve Curtis of Millburn, N.J. He and his wife applied in October 2007 to adopt a second child as a sister to Amelia, whom they adopted from China the previous year.

"Unfortunately, we are STILL waiting, with no end in sight," Curtis said in an e-mail last week. "We're thinking of throwing in the towel but are keeping the faith."

Monday, December 14, 2009

Every Child Deserves a Family Act


A piece of legislation recently introduced in Congress carries a name any orphan advocate could support: “Every Child Deserves a Family Act.” The bill, however, could strike a crippling blow to Christian foster care and adoption agencies across the U.S. By attaching new strings to funds the Federal government provides to States, this measure would effectively ban government partnerships with any public or private agency that chooses not to place children with same-sex couples.

This bill is troubling on many fronts. It would not only cut off adoption and foster care nonprofits that hold Christian convictions from receiving direct Federal grants. State and local governments would face losing critical funding from the Federal government if they entered any more than the most arms-length partnerships with these groups. Furthermore, government policies always echo beyond government; many foundations and private funders would likely redirect funds away from groups suddenly deemed by government to be unworthy of partnership.

Even many people who don’t agree with the Christian commitment to traditional marriage will likely be struck by the irony. While claiming to advance tolerance, this legislation works to marginalize groups because of their sincerely-held convictions. While purporting to value diversity, it seeks to cut off a large and vibrant segment of the nation’s response to the needs of foster youth. And while declaring its goal as being to help children find families, it essentially erects barbed wire between government offices charged with finding homes and the organizations and families that have proven most willing to provide them.

The following comes from the statement of Congressman Pete Stark as he introduced the bill:

…Currently, over 65,000 adopted children and 14,000 foster children are living with a gay or lesbian parent. Studies suggest that upward of 2 million gay and lesbian individuals are interested in adopting or fostering a child. Yet, statewide discriminatory bans and the practices of individual adoption agencies have resulted in fewer children being placed in safe and permanent homes.

Congress invests over $8 billion in the child welfare system each year and we should not accept policies that use Federal funds to enact barriers to adoption and close the door to thousands of potential homes. Multiple studies have found that adopted and foster children raised by gay and lesbian parents fare just as well as their peers being raised by heterosexual parents.

When considering a potential placement for a child, the only criteria should be what is in the child’s best interest and whether the prospective parents can provide a safe and nurturing home. Bigotry should play no part in this decision. That is why I am introducing the “Every Child Deserves a Family Act.” This legislation would simply prohibit any entity that receives Federal child welfare funds from denying or delaying adoption or foster care placements based solely on the prospective parent’s marital status or sexual orientation. States and child welfare agencies that fail to end discriminatory practices would face financial penalties…

Assuming that Congressman Stark sincerely desires to help foster children find good homes, let’s hope that he will come to see that cutting Christian adoption and foster care organizations from government partnerships is decidedly not the best path for achieving this goal.
This article is taken from the Christian Alliance for Orphans E-Newsletter 10/30/2009. www.christianalliancefororphans.org.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Adoption Tax Credit


The Adoption Tax Credit was expanded under President Bush in 2001 from $5,000 to $10,000 and set to grow each year based on inflation. It is currently $12,150. However, unless Congress acts to extend it, the Credit will drop to only $5,000 at the end of 2010.
Two bills now in Congress recently would preserve the Adoption Tax Credit, including the "Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act" (HR213) introduced last week. This bill would also add an additional boost for domestic adoptions by reducing the wait time families currently must wait before receiving their tax credit.
We'll be keeping a close eye on developments on the Tax Credit, which provides major help to families as they shoulder costs of adoption. If you would like to track this bill yourself, visit http://www.govtrack.us%3econgress%3elegislation/.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Seperated At Birth: Adopted Twins Reunited


I found this story on the front page of the Daily Herald this morning. It's amazing!


Read the story at http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=342760


This story beats love at first sight. Two people longed for each other, though they may have never met. They felt connected though they may never have touched. They'd even been given the same first names, though their families were strangers. By the time Meredith Grace Rittenhouse and Meredith Ellen Harrington were finally introduced, love was almost beside the point. Their bond was more mysterious, more fundamental. The Merediths are Chinese fraternal twins who were adopted by two different American families, one from Lisle. The girls found each other almost six years ago, when they were 4, and haven't let go since.

Jiangmen, China, is a subtropical city, but during the winter it can cool off quite a bit. It was on an early December day that Meredith Grace's birth mother left the newborn outside and said goodbye. In China, children who are abandoned by their parents are often left in public places where they are found quickly. Meredith Grace's mother chose a busy part of town, the entrance to Holiday Park, across the street from an orphanage.

Meredith Grace was taken in by the Jiangmen City Social Welfare Institute on Dec. 8, 1998. Two weeks later, another baby girl, also found nearby, arrived.

During the nine months the two girls lived at the orphanage, they likely did not have much contact. As far as their American adoptive families know, there was no reason for the institute to suspect that the girls were twins. They lacked a strong physical resemblance then. Their adoptive parents believe, however, that the girls were cared for by the same two nannies, which would suggest that their cribs were in the same room. When they were 4 years old, both girls were able to remember who was the "nice" nanny and who was the "mean one" when they looked at a picture of the women (even though the "mean one" was smiling). Such is the detective work of families hoping to find clues that their daughters knew each other from the beginning.

When she was 10 months old, Meredith Grace moved into her new home in Lisle with Jim and Susan Rittenhouse, one a science-fiction buff and the other a dog lover, and now, together, parents. Meredith Grace was an early talker, and like her father, an enthusiastic one. Bubbly and smart, she developed a passion for geography and soon was drawing maps of the continents and begging for a globe. She adjusted to her American life well, but she was obsessed with the idea of sisters. She used to tell her preschool teacher about the one she had in China; her parents took this to mean that she wanted one. Asked to complete the sentence, "When I grow up I want to be a -," a 3-year-old Meredith's answer was "sister."

One month before the Rittenhouses adopted Meredith Grace, Leigh Anne and Mike Harrington had named their little girl Meredith Ellen and taken her home to Birmingham, Ala. Soon after, Meredith Ellen spoke her first words. When she was 2, she asked for a globe and started studying the continents. Meredith Ellen was quieter than the sister she didn't yet know about in Lisle, and she went through periods of melancholy. When she was 2 she told her parents, "I'm so lonely. I wish I had a sister."

Leigh Anne and Mike decided to give her one - they adopted Ally when Meredith was 21/2, but the gloom didn't fade.

In Lisle, the Rittenhouses were getting ready to adopt a sister for their Meredith. Jim was skimming over a listserv connecting parents who'd adopted kids from the Jiangmen Social Welfare Institute at the same time. One posting was from a family he'd once exchanged a few friendly messages with during the lead-up to their adoptions. Now the other family was posting a recent photograph. Jim moved his mouse and clicked. That little click turned out to be a ka-boom. There on his screen was what looked like his own daughter's face. His wife was in the next room. "Honey?" he said.

Soon the families were swapping photos and stories. One picture of Meredith Grace in front of the dollhouse she'd gotten for Christmas that year, her head slightly cocked, was the clincher. Leigh Anne thought the girls looked exactly alike and asked Meredith Ellen, who tended to tilt her head in a similar way, what she thought of the picture. "That's me, but I don't have that dollhouse or the dress," the 4-year-old said. Meanwhile, in Lisle, Susan Rittenhouse's casual observation "Wow, they could be sisters" had acquired new punctuation: "Wow, they could be sisters!" A DNA test eventually told them what they already knew.

Meredith Grace was introduced to her sister in the parking lot of a Birmingham hotel. Both girls had been told only that they were from the same orphanage. Days before, the 4-year-olds had spoken on the phone. Before hanging up, Meredith Grace whispered "love you" to the sister she'd never met. And now here she was. The girls circled each other for just a moment. When they finally released each other from that first hug, they took each other's hand. Meredith Ellen told Meredith Grace, "I think we were born together."

The corollary to the Merediths' elation at finding each other is the devastation at having to separate again after visits. Grief unspools into tantrums. "Worse than I've ever seen before in her whole life," Jim Rittenhouse wrote in his online journal after the girls' first reunion. Since that first meeting almost six years ago - the girls are now 10 - they've seen each other about a dozen times.

In between visits, they don't speak on the phone because it makes them too sad. But Meredith Grace has told her parents that she thinks about Sissy, as they call each other, 10 times a day. Visits are arranged when the yearning becomes too much. Meredith Grace's attitude flares. Meredith Ellen will cry at night, saying, "I miss Sissy." So the word goes out.

"Mer is missing Sissy a lot right now. She has even thought tonight that she wishes they could both be back in China together," went one e-mail from Leigh Anne to her counterpart in Lisle. Travel Web sites are checked for sales. Dates are put on the calendar. And the emotion immediately rights itself.

And so it goes for the "twin-laws" - the families' term for one another - who find themselves in an arranged marriage with an entire group of strangers.

But for both the Rittenhouses and the Harringtons, the joy at seeing the girls together outweighs the challenges of reuniting them. They've developed a warm, respectful relationship.

Both Merediths say they feel complete now that they've found each other. Meredith Grace became more confident, her mother, Susan, says. She faced her fear of dogs because her twin had five of them and got over her aversion to putting her face in water because her twin could.

Meredith Ellen's blues disappeared. "I feel close to Sissy because she has been with me since the beginning and when we were put in orphanages I knew that it was sort of hard but I knew that I would find the missing piece in my heart. I found the missing piece," she wrote in her diary.

The parents found themselves reoriented, too. "We have always felt that family bonds are not dependent upon genetic connection," Leigh Anne, a family therapist specializing in international adoption issues, wrote in an e-mail to a friend right after the Merediths met. "However, there is no denying that these girls share something beyond. It is amazing."

Their reunions at the airport have become a ritual. On a warm morning this past June, Meredith Grace was too nervous to eat. On her way to Chicago's Midway Airport, she was wearing a navy T-shirt and cargo pants, the same thing her sister would have on; outfits are coordinated weeks in advance. When Meredith Grace spotted her sister coming through security, she dashed into her arms. Then they pulled back and gazed into each other's eyes, heads tilted, just like in the picture that brought them together. Then they were two little girls again, jumping up and down and screaming "Yay! Sissy!" in unison.

Their visits are cram sessions: jumping on a beanbag, karaoke, tickling, Uno, poking, sharing earbuds, playing teacher, posing for pictures, hide-and-seek, pillow fighting, swinging, giggling, swimming, digging a hole in the sandbox. This was just one afternoon during their most recent Chicago visit. Like all sisters, they can get on each other's nerves - "Would you literally stop that?" and the sibling classic "Get your butt off me!" Always, they are in physical contact, as if to reassure each other that they're still there.

"Absolute radiant joy," is how Jim describes seeing the girls together. What does being together feel like for the girls? "A present," says Meredith Grace.

Monday, December 7, 2009

You Are Invited......


Please Join us for a Birthday Celebration for Jesus!


Join Foster Families, Adoptive Families, Advocates, Supporters and all those who are A Voice For His Children, as we celebrate Christmas together.

Date: Sunday December 20th, 2009

Time: 5:00 pm

Place: Scott & Dawna Wunder's Home
550 Ladysmith Road, Bartlett IL 60103

What to Bring: A Pot-luck dish to share and some Holiday Spirit.

R.S.V.P.'s would be really really helpful. Please e-mail avoiceforhischildren@gmail.com and let us know how many children and adults you're bringing. For questions, call Dina at 630-213-3558.


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Human Trafficking Workshop



**Illinois Rescue and Restore**
Human Trafficking: Effective Tools for the Faith Community


January 14, 9 AM – 4 PM
*Lunch is on your own*
LaSalle Street Church
Cornerstone Center
1111 N. Wells Street
Chicago, IL 60610


Please join Illinois Rescue and Restore for a FREE anti-human trafficking training. Anti-trafficking experts will provide information on the basics of human trafficking (including child exploitation, sex trafficking, and labor trafficking), anti-trafficking legislation, victim outreach, victim identification, and how faith communities can work to fight human trafficking in Illinois.

Registration for this training is FREE. To register or for more information contact Rachael.Burke@Illinois.gov, or call at (312) 793-0481 by January 13th, 2010. Seating is limited, so please register early.

CEUs available for LSWs, LCSWs , LPCs, and LCPCs at a cost of $10.00 through Northern Illinois University. Please contact us for more information.

Trainers for this Illinois Rescue and Restore event include experts from:

Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation
International Organization For Adolescents
Salvation Army Trafficking Outreach Program and Intervention Techniques (STOP-IT)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Mother's Heart



By Maridel Sandberg

Erik* is 16 years old. He is tall, athletic and very handsome. His smile lights up a room. He is polite and acts just like all the other teenage boys who have spent time in my home – they are always hungry and will eat pretty much whatever you give them.

I just found out that Erik is a foster child.

He has been in and out of over 20 foster homes. He was about to be adopted, and in his pain, made a poor choice and was removed from that home.

Now he is floundering, missing his buddies, and trying to find his way at a group home for “troubled kids.” He faces another new school in a different community, another chance to make new friends, another basketball tryout for a coach who has never seen him play. And even if he does make the team, who will stand in the crowd to cheer him on?

Who will help him get his first job? Who will teach him about money?

School is hard for him. He has never been in the same school long enough for him to get the kind of help he needs and deserves. Who will advocate for him?

Who will make sure he gets his senior pictures taken for the yearbook next year?

What happens at parent teacher conferences?

These thoughts keep me awake at night.

Erik has a host of “issues”- a story that would scare most folks away from getting too close.

He regularly speaks out on a teen panel telling people like you and me that all he wants is to have a family. You never outgrow a need for a family. There are graduations, weddings, illness, children….a whole lifetime of memories meant to be shared.

The Bible says that “God puts the lonely in families”.

This is his plan. He created the family unit to be a reflection of Him.

Erik is one of over 100,000 kids in the USA waiting to be adopted out of the Foster Care system. These kids need parents who will love them – NO MATTER WHAT.

I’m seeing more and more young people taking God at his word and invading their culture with extravagant acts of mercy coupled with radical truth and love in Jesus name—individuals like Alex and Brett Harris, who are rebelling against the low expectations of their culture by choosing to “do hard things” for the glory of God.

Those of us a few years older could do well to listen and learn from these young folks. God never stops asking us to “do the hard thing”. As a matter of fact, God asks us to do impossible things! Gospel living will always cost us our lives, but oh the glory of the return on our investments.

Erik still needs a mom and dad. This will be a hard thing. Don’t miss it.

*Erik’s name has been changed.

Maridel Sandberg is president of The MICAH Fund and mother of eight (five of which came to her through the miracle of adoption).