Wednesday, June 9, 2010

International v.s. domestic adoption

Below is a post from a blog called "Building the Blocks". In her post, Amy responds to a criticism that I have come across many, many times since we've adopted our two daughters from China. I have repeatedly been asked in various ways, in various situations: "Why did you adopt from another country when there are so many foster children in our country that need families?" Most times, the question is posed in a judgemental way, virtually accusing me and my husband of wrongdoing in our decision to adopt from China. Almost all the time, it is from people who have never adopted! There are multiple factors that families consider as they consider adding a child to their family through adoption. Most of the time, my answer is simple: "Because China is the place that God put in our hearts. He knew before time began that that's were we would be blessed with our daughters."

I'd like to take this opportunity to challenge those of you who have made judgements about adoptive families. I challenge you to search your hearts and ask God to help you see that every child deserves a forever family, no matter where they were born. I ask you to open your hearts to the fact that it is up to God to chose a child for their parents, whether biological or adopted......God is in control of both processes!

Anyway, Amy, a seasoned adoptive mom, responds to the question so well, I'll just let you read for yourself.

"Normally I don't do this... but this one struck a cord with me. Something inside of me felt like I had to respond. Please understand I do not mean this reader any disrespect-we are all entitled to our own thoughts, feelings and opinions.

But, since this is my blog- I figure I have a right to share my own opinion. ;0)

I received the following comment after my post on "Will It Ever Be Enough" and since it wasn't the first time (nor I am sure the last) that I heard these exact sentiments- I felt a post a brewin.

"The thing is...its very hard for people to take Christians seriously when we pass over the over 100,000 legal orphans in our own country to go save an orphan overseas. God would have us take care of our own - and we are not. The foster care system is full to bursting with children that have been turned into 100% legal orphans with no chance of a legal fight over rights. Where is the line of Christians to adopt them? It's LOW cost even.


Our own children aren't good enough some how. They aren't as worthy as a child in another country. Yet, its supposed to be about giving a child a home and a family of their own - which our foster children (that are legal orphans) DO NOT HAVE.

"Obviously I've been asking myself these hard questions - and they don't shed a good light on those of us that adopt from overseas."

First of all, I wrote this post awhile back on adopting internationally verse adopting from the foster system here. As a mother of five adopted children- TWO from the foster system and three internationally I feel that I have a right of passage to respond to this question. ;0)

I want to reiterate that to us- adopting from the foster system and adopting internationally are equally as amazing- simply because we were blessed by both experiences- our children came home. While of course there are strengths and weaknesses to both adoption processes- the end results are absolutely priceless.

However, what struck a cord with me was the part about 'our own' children in our own backyard.

I don't know how the bible speaks to you- but my God says to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31) and I am pretty positive He was not just talking about the person physically next door.

I am pretty sure He was talking about every person- every tribe- every tongue- every nation.

I am pretty sure He desires the orphan in Dallas, Texas to not remain an orphan as much as He desires the orphan in Africa, Afghanistan, Belize, China, India, Liberia, Hong Kong, India, Korea, Mexico, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand, Vietnam, Guatemala, Moldova, Honduras, Costa Rica or the Marshall Islands to have a family of their own.

I am pretty sure they ALL matter to Him equally.

John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

So while yes I agree that people should be answering the call to foster or adopt from the US foster system (PLEASE, PLEASE DO!!!) I also believe that if God has called you to Russia, China, Guatemala, Serbia, Vietnam, Africa, that you SHOULD OBEY.

The beauty of God's plan is that He is sending His people EVERYWHERE to answer His call. If ALL of us were to adopt from China- then what about the orphans in Guatemala or Columbia or Haiti?

And I love how God places certain places and certain children on certain peoples hearts. (Not to mention some programs are just a better fit for certain individuals- due to family size, age, income, etc.)

I have met families who are passionate about adopting children with Downs Syndrome.

I have met families who are passionate about adopting children who are HIV+.

I have met families who are called to teen boys from the US foster system.

I have met families who are called to children with club feet from China.

And the things is IT IS ALL EQUALLY AMAZING and EQUALLY WONDERFUL because that family answers the call and goes where God has called them.

I personally find it incredible that the God of the universe hand chose each and every one of our children.

I love that He orchestrated the most beautiful consummation- and I have never doubted for a single second that each child He has allowed us the privilege of parenting was meant to be ours- because it was His plan.

I have never doubted for a single second that God, in his infinite wisdom, knew which children needed us and which children we needed to become who we are.

Two times He sent us to Guatemala and provided for our every needs. Two times He led us to adopt through the US foster system and provided for every need. And one time He sent us to Ethiopia and provided for every need. Each time we stepped out in faith and trusted Him to bring the child He chose into our family- and it was perfect.

So if God is calling you to adopt from China- GO!!!

If God is calling you to adopt from the US foster system GO!!!

No matter where the child is located-Adoption is a beautiful, hard, emotional rollercoaster- that in the end is worth it all.

Now, go get your child- no matter where they may be. ;0) "

To read comments about Amy's post, visit

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